My serenity

I have been being called out to the water for a few months now but the weather keeps getting in my way along with busy schedules of course. The other day I finally found the cutest beach to go to and I have to admit I felt a sense of being home. How can someone who has never lived on the water feel so completely at home when near it? Still havent gotten out onto a boat yet, and I may have to admit that I wont be able to this year.

But the serenity I found while staring out at its vastness is unmatched. The way my heart calmed to listen to the beat of the surf lapping on the sand.

Watching my middle sons excitement as he learned to battle against the waves made my heart swell. He feels it too. That calling. That need to be there. My oldest fights and complains about the sand, the youngest is scared to get too far in since she doesnt like water in her face.

To find something to tame the one wild child tho makes it even better. Id go back with him right now if I wasnt chained to this work chair by the shackles of being an adult.

Sometimes you need the solitude

Sunday morning coffee

Sitting on the porch

Listening to the birds chirping

The gentle breeze swaying the trees

After the week I have had

This is exactly what I need.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

If only I could keep this feeling.

Just a little slice

The porch swing sways gently.

The birds are quiet except the occasion chirp.

The outdoor animal’s have scurried to find cover.

The trees are swaying with the breeze.

The sound of the rain hitting the earth soothes my soul

Almost more then the precious coffee in my thermos.

So here I am

 

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Rocking back and forth on the swing

light blanket covering my lap

content with my coffee

reading my newest self help book

I think I may have found a slice of heaven.

 

Outside the box

Sometimes life gets heavy enough that I need to find simple ways to be able to pull back. I know that I have spoken on this before but this isn’t a one time a year type of thing. I have noticed that it seems to be worse for me  during colder months but we all have them randomly thru the years I assume.

I usually find a few different things to be able to lighten things up and vary between them. Most years it starts with photography and works its way into funny animal videos before ending with being able to watch the television show Funniest home videos. There are times that I add other things in, depending on how I have been feeling in the weeks before this.

Sometimes I watch a lot of Youtube videos that welcome soldiers home. I really enjoy the ones that involve surprising family members with their homecoming. Those are almost always guaranteed to make cry, and sometimes that is exactly what I need at that point.

This time I actually find myself watching movie series obsessively. There are three or four of them that I have fallen in love with over the years and I have been lucky to have them all available to me to watch. Some I own and some I can find on different platforms available to watch, in order.  I am positive that my husband thinks that I have lost my mind, seeing as he is not the type of person to watch movies he has already seen very often.

Even though I understand that adult life can be quite monotonous I feel as though I am failing at it. Just like most other adults I struggle to keep my spending under control and pay my bills on time. However I think that I forgot to keep things fun and enjoyable enough to let it all balance out to each other. I find myself more afraid to spend the money on the things I think would be fun, in fear that I would not be able to keep up with bill paying and other necessary needs for my family.

So here I sit, watching my movies instead, on the cable network that I struggle to pay for.

 

Challenge accepted

As we get closer to Valentines day I want everyone to challenge themselves to spice up the monotony.

Every relationship starts out with butterflies and heart jumps, but you will always get to the stage where its (dare I say it?) boring.

Spice it up.

Dont settle.

Life is meant to be lived with smiles and laughter. With love and soft touches. With spontaneity and a sense of adventure.

You are only as old as you let yourself act.

The Power of individuality

The power of learning to be who you are in the face of judgement is daunting. More daunting than most of us have the strength to admit. Even less of us can say that we have beaten the challenge of overcoming.

I have fleeting moments where this clarity hits me that it just doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. As long as I can live with myself and my family doesn’t have to deal with any repercussions from my decisions it shouldn’t matter.

And yet in the exact next breath I am forced to explain to my kids that other people’s perspective really does matter in some situations. If the home room teacher you get in the fifth grade gets the idea that you are a troublemaker within the first few weeks of class, then they tend to watch you more closely and scrutinize the things that you say in a different light, all year. Of course you can break that mold at any point by showing continuous good behavior but the original perception is always right there in the back of their minds.

The teeter tottering of this subject will always be up for debate, with everybody having different opinions from each other.  Hell, one persons take on this subject will change so frequently that it is hard to imagine that a person would honestly believe that they have a good leg to even stand on in a debate.

We like to thing that it has a simple answer, in a world where there is very few simple questions. In reality it is a highly complex dilemma that we will battle until our dying day.

It doesn’t matter what type of judgement haunts us since we all have different nightmares.

The way we choose to handle them is completely an individual decision however.

 

 

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