I Believe

When dealing with the loss of an addict, sometimes it is good to look up the mentality of what they were fighting. Positivity in the struggle is a very important part and I recommend taking a moment to read.

I Believe
I know that the first step in all spiritual healing is to believe.
I believe!
I open my mind and heart believing in your infinite power and possibility.
I believe that healing is a dynamic and reachable experience,
a reality that can be experienced right now.
I maintain a patient and loving attitude,
for I believe that your healing activity is now at work in my mind and body.
I look forward, with joyful expectation, to the perfect wholeness
that you are now bringing into manifestation through me.
I believe in your constant expression of perfect good in and through me.
I rest in the certainty of your healing power.
I know that with you all things are possible.

The struggle

And then there were days like today.

The kind of days that make you question EVERYTHING.

The ones that you don’t want to even get out of bed.

The mental health day that lets you check out of the day.

Maybe a few days. Some people need longer for specific needs.

The biggest thing it just to remember to get up again.

But today…

Today I will let the rain fall,

Let the kids keep themselves busy

Turn on a good show

Cry a little. Eat like crap.

And rest.

Golden rule

It seems as though these last few years has brought out the asshole in everyone doesn’t it?

Everyone seems to have forgotten to have a filter on what they say to other’s. What’s worse is the excuses they use to explain away the bad manners!

Sure we all have different opinions. These opinions come from life experiences, stories we’ve heard from people we know as well as online sources/news stations.

I respect that. I respect your opinion. I respect your decisions. I applaud you for standing for who and what you believe in.


When the hell did that give them the right to tear down others that don’t agree wholeheartedly?

Who says what you believed in was the end all for every human being? Why would they not be able to have their own opinions?

Who the hell do these people think they are, honestly?

So now what

Now what?

That’s the only thought I have for this summer in the year following the Covid shutdown. Last year we did our part and stayed home or out of places more often then not. We made sure we wore masks and had a very realistic fear of the ‘what if’ seeing as I work healthcare and saw this from a different very deadly point of view.

However as a parent who’s children virtually learned all year so we didn’t get sucked into the quarentined bubble off and on, my kids need the outside world more then ever.

Every adult in my family has been vaccinated so I should be able to not worry as much going in and out of these places right? Yet I’m not sure.

It has nothing to do with false media junk, or the pressures of the world fear mongering me so please refrain from commenting about that OR the negative opinions of the vaccines. Yes I am asking out loud on social media platforms, so your opinion is valid to respond with I just don’t want the disrespect to outweigh the honest communications. I do respect your choice for you and yours, just please show the same respect here if you chose to comment.

Are you out and about? Indoor and outdoor? Still masking?

❤ Much love to you all. ❤

Reality vs bliss

I recently learned that they now say September is the month of recovery. They call it National Recovery Month. For a whole month they talk about people bottoming out to the lowest of the lows and finding ways to recovery, and stay recovered. They embrace that this is a disease that will never go away for them and that this is a battle that they will always face. One that they could relapse easily with just one wrong decision. They speak about the steps that addicts will have to take to get clean, stay sober and make the right decisions day after day.

I applaud every move that they make in the process of teaching everyone that addiction is a disease. Yes there are choices being made, but in the end it is a disease. Addiction hurts everyone, not just the addict. Those people that are around the addict didn’t get to make the choice which makes this disease one of the most heartbreaking diseases I think I have ever seen. I love that they made a national month for it because it shows how much progress that they have made in attempting to show addicts and those people around them that we realize that it is a disease. It won’t heal the hurts, it won’t right the wrongs. It will however get us closer to understanding how to help and possibly prevent it from happening more.

This month marks the birthday of my cousin who died last year, from complications from addiction. I have spent 10 months ignoring his death. You see, he had recently gone to work and live at an inpatient recovery center that helped sober him up the year prior. That was the first place that actually kept him sober longer than a few months. He fell in love with the surrounding, he just hated being so far away from all of us. It’s very easy to just trick your mind into thinking that is the reason I haven’t seen him. For a while I stopped using the platform that I spoke with him the most this last few years (Snapchat). We had switched to that so we could keep a streak while we show each other the scenery and the kids to make us both feel like we were still a daily part of each others lives.

Now in a months time it will be his first birthday in heaven along with the one year anniversary. Seems like I am going to have to accept the realistic side of things.