New challenge

I challenge you to find a purpose bigger than you.

There it is. I said it. We are all facing this crisis with varying degrees of success in the area that we live. We all need some bigger purpose to help us keep our minds off the scary stories and statistics that we are seeing. We all need something positive in this time of insanity.

So I challenge you. You don’t even need to report back to me. I will hand you the challenge and let you decide if you will accept.

Trust me, giving yourself a purpose is never a regrettable thing.

Usage of time

I am amazed at how many people like to say the words that they are willing to donate time or energy to a project but really do not seem to ever do anything. I started sending Christmas Cards to soldiers a few years ago, at times doing care packages whenever I had an address to be able to send one to.

Over the years I have asked a whole hell of a lot of people if they would be willing to donate time, money or objects to either cause. Fast forward a few years and there is not one person that is my go to when I need help.

I get it.

Life gets busy and a lot of people my age are in the busiest stages of their lives. Between schooling, dating and parenting which all has to land on top of working I realize that most people have full plates.

The joy that I get after sending these cards, or care packages, keeps me doing it. It gives me purpose. I have absolutely never gotten a thank you, nor have I ever cared or wanted one. My point is only that it is the purpose, the joy some would say, is the sense of giving. I want these men and women to know they are not alone. I know that my cards that I send are not a big deal to them. It is a piece of paper, at a time where they may or may not be getting undulated with nameless cards.

What it did however was give me direction.

The connections that I have made while joining this community of people have been able to point me in different directions for things that I can do year round. The pancake breakfasts for veterans. The local bar that veterans go to so they can be amongst other vets or supporters. Things that help them raise money over the year. I am always willing to find new things to help but I can not tell you what motivated me to be this way. I didn’t grow up being a huge military brat, no family that I was made aware of at that age to be part of the military whatsoever.

Something just clicked.

And I am glad it did.

It gives me an awesome purpose.

It’s the little things

The sound of the rain on a netted gazebo while I snuggle up with a laptop and blanket has got to be one of the best things ever. There is a lot of heavy things going on recently around the world. There is so many opinions from the very start that everyone has, and to this day I don’t think that there have been many answers provided.

I don’t know about everyone else, but my life was already feeling pretty heavy before all this. So this isn’t appreciated by me. Not like that even matters.

So it has been a personal goal of mine to be able to find things to lighten the mood for everyone. Between my family and fellow hospital buddies this hasn’t left the most time for me to focus on what makes my moments seem a little lighter.

This definitely makes the list.

The loss

Recently we had a ‘take your breathe away’ loss in our family that brought us to our knees with a sobering reality. We have been in this spot before, of eye opening clarity, but strangely allowed our self to get back to the blind leading the blind.

One moment we lived a few states away, keeping up with each other via texting and other social media platforms. The next a family member knocking on my door to make sure I didn’t find out any other way that he had passed away.

I am one of those people who have spent a lifetime being friends with “calamity janes” that seem to always have the crazy things happen to them. These things never happen to me but they always happen around me. I should be used to the crazy flux of emotions to happen. That’s not me trying to throw my own pity party by any means. That’s just me wondering why I have not come up with a better way to handle myself.

Then again these types of things are too sudden.

Too abrupt.

Too Final.

I can’t wrap my head around it. My heart aches. I miss my friend. I want to go back to the simple talk about awesome new tattoo’s and the best cover bands. I wanna laugh about family reunions and the weird stages our cousins go through. I wanna share my children with you and take more vacations with you.

Now we can’t.