Tis this season too

Seasonal depression timing is coming. Are you doing the things that you need to do to prepare for it? Are you making sure that you are planning things that you will actually follow up and do? Here are some of the things that I do to prepare.

First off, I allow myself to know that it is perfectly acceptable to have down days to do nothing. It is ok to have days that running laundry through the washer and dryer are considered productive. Reading a good book is productive. Watching movies and allowing your feelings to fall out of your eyes is productive. SOMETIMES. However, not all the time. Not when it is day after day after day.

Personally, I like to bake during the colder months. So I start a Pinterest folder for the things I want to bake this year. Since it helps me feel like I was productive and gives me a momentary smile I consider it a win. Even though I will never look at it again.

So then I print out the few that I may actually make since it now shows a different level of seriousness. This may or may not work, but it sure makes me feel like it will.

These last few years I have chosen to start a new gym routine in the beginning of December so that I already have a routine set in my mind before all of the ‘resolutioners’ bear down on the local gyms. There is nothing worse then trying a new routine when you are climbing around a bunch of fresh and clean gym members who talk too much while they stare at every move you make thinking if they watch hard enough they could remember each and every step. They won’t, but that doesn’t stop them from trying. Would you like a little piece of advice from someone who has been enduring torture as my self care routine for a few years? It’s ok to watch for motivation, but we know the difference between someone being creepy vs someone with honest intent to learn.

Now, does that mean that my routine won’t get shook up during the first six weeks of the year before they drop like flies? Nope not at all. It will absolutely get shook up. The difference is that now I am in the mindset of getting through it so that the work I put in wasn’t a waste. When I started the routine I gave myself a goal. Inches off the measuring tape in a certain problem area, or a pair of jeans that I want to fit in. Sometimes it is as simple as how I want my arms to look in a bridesmaids dress that I know someone is making me wear. Whatever it is, I want those results.

There is a feeling that you get when you set a goal, push through the bullshit and get the results. It is unmatchable by any amount of laziness, or comfort food. That makes me move. Is that enough for you?

The last thing that I do is make sure that I feel out where the people I live with are at with their mental health. Sometimes it can’t be about me. Sometimes I have a child struggling and instead of allowing myself to wallow, I now need to be watching them and keeping them moving instead. That changes from year to year of course, but if I am not prepared for it then there is a lot of scrambling. I can handle my boat being rocked a bit of course (well, hopefully) but there have been years that it comes so far out of left feild when I wasn’t ready that it blows me out of the water.

That’s going to happen sometimes I suppose, but if I can make it to where it isn’t EVERY year then I feel like I am winning the battle.

Do you have a plan?

Cemetaries

There is something cathartic about going to the cemetery.

I spent many years avoiding going there for anyone I had lost, telling myself that I could communicate with them wherever I was. Why would I need to get in the car and go to the last resting place of their body shell? Their spirit wasn’t there anymore right?

This goes against a lot of what I was taught growing up but my stubborn mind was made up. Every culture and every religion has their own belief, and while I fully respect just about every one of them I just couldn’t accept them into my reality.

In many ways I still can’t.

But I sat at the cemetery the other day and found myself talking in a way that I hadn’t with them, in years. Open, outloud, honest and raw. What was supposed to be a quick visit turned into over an hour. I had no plans of things to say but there was never a lull in things to talk about. There was laughs to break up the tears that flowed free.

When I walked back to the car there was a sense of relief that I hadn’t felt in quite some time, and suddenly I was aware of something else.

I could NEVER tell my mother that she was right.

Scars in Heaven

If I had only known the last time would be the last time
I would’ve put off all the things I had to do
I would’ve stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
Now what I’d give for one more day with you
‘Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing
And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time
But I know you’re in a place where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now
I know the road you walked was anything but easy
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun, you’ve fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in heaven, yeah, are on the hands that hold you now
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, for the hands that hold you now
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run
Until I finally see what you can see, oh-oh
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now

381

Scars in Heaven

Casting Crowns

Goals achieved

This year I made the decision to step outside of my comfort zone. The goal was to be more social since the last few (ahem ok maybe ten) years were dedicated to child rearing and family building.

I was NOT dissapointed!

I have gotten to meet some of the best people! From other creative souls, to fellow introverts pushing themselves to open up, all the way to those open minded no filter folks that have taught me more then I expected.

Sometimes change is needed guys. This keyboards allow us to be fierce on our platform, but too many of us use it to hide behind.

Make a decision to step out of your comfort zone, even a little.

You won’t regret it.

Worldwide Beatiful

Take a moment and feel these lyrics. Then go search the video if you can. ❤

White churches, black churches
Different people, same hearses
It’s kinda hard to fight with each other
Laying down in the ground, six under
At every show I see my people
They ain’t the same, but they’re all equal
One love, one God, one family

You’re missing every color
If you’re only seeing black and white
Tell me how you’re gonna change your mind
If your heart’s unmovable
We ain’t that different from each other
From one to another, I look around
And see worldwide beautiful

Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God
Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God
Coast to coast, city to city
Reach out your hands if you’re with me
Still got some work but we still got a dream
Every shade, every heart come together and sing
Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God (woo)

You’re missing every color
If you’re only seeing black and white
Tell me how you’re gonna change your mind
If your heart’s unmovable
We ain’t that different from each other
From one to another, I look around
And see worldwide beautiful

One love, one God, one family (one family, y’all, c’mon)
One love, one God, one family
One love, one God, one family
One Love, one God, one family (sing it with me)

You’re missing every color
If you’re only seeing black and white
Tell me how you’re gonna change your mind
If your heart’s unmovable (we’re not that different)
We ain’t that different from each other
From one to another, I look around
And see worldwide beautiful
Look around and see worldwide beautiful (so beautiful)


Look around and see worldwide beautiful
(Worldwide beautiful)
(Worldwide beautiful)
(Worldwide beautiful)
Look around and see worldwide

beautifulSource: LyricFindSongwriters: Jordan Mark Schmidt / Kane Brown / Ryan James Hurd / Jordan Schmidt / Ryan Hurd / Shy Carter

Spend the time

At the fun age of 29 plus a few, I find myself having no living grandparents. I have a wonderful grandmother in law, but mine are gone.

I never realized before how much I relied on grandparents knowledge for things over the years. Little daily things that they bestowed advice for that saved more time with the kids instead. Ways to cook more efficiently that somehow tasted better then any recipe I followed!

The hands on my shoulder when I faced something difficult. The smile that gave me the courage to keep pushing through the hard times. The never ending pictures and stories to fall back on when the days were slower.

Why don’t we notice how much we rely on this, how much we LOVE this, until it’s too late??

Hug your parents and grandparents. Take those pictures. Spend that time. It goes too fast.

Missing them always. 😢💔

Open doors

They always say when one door closes another will open.

I’ve heard multiple ways for that saying but that is the one I heard the most.

There is nothing wrong with making decisions to change things up to fit your desires better.

Who cares if its a job, a city, a lover or a friendship. You are not stuck anywhere or with anyone. They are all a few choices away from being different. When you decide to be free to make your own decisions the whole world opens up to you.

The question is how long will it take you to decide to make the change?

Will it take you even longer to accept it and forgive yourself for it?

No questions

There are a few things I have learned in life, without needing to randomly question it.

Here is the most important.

Everyone needs to have that group of people that they can just unload on without worry. Sometimes its just one person, sometimes its ten of them.

Life without them however is not ok.

They stand by you when you go through a breakup. They are right there when you fail that test, again. They don’t judge when you drop plans because you aren’t in mood (unless you do that too much.) They just get you. They don’t hesitate to call or show up at the wrong time.

They know that life brings high points, laughter, and great memories.

They also know that there will be bad times. Low times. Bad diagnoses, deaths, tears and heartbreak’s.

And yet they stay, through all of it.

Those people are vital. ❤

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: