The reality of being a survivor is something that strikes me a lot.
The honest fact is that ‘survivor’ means something different to everyone makes that sentence bring something different to every readers mind.
The basic definition of the word is simple.
- A person who survived, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
- The remainder of a group of people or things
- A person who copes well with difficulties in life
Definition’s in the dictionary are great but it always feels different. They never seem to be able to describe what to expect the feelings to be.
That said I can’t even begin to explain how it feels different depending which thing I am feeling like I am a survivor from that day. That sounds crazy even to me.
But when it comes down to it, I am a survivor of a whole list of different things. As is every person alive.
That list can seem daunting but that needs to be something I chose to focus on in the near future to make sure that any of my past damage does not creep up to affect my future.
The biggest thing about being a survivor however is learning to move past it. Past the trauma. Past the events. Past the guilt. Past the feelings. Past the judgement. Past the pity. Past the expectation of what it should have been. Past the expectation of what could have been.
I think that is the hardest part. It doesn’t matter what type of ‘event’ happened. It’s the idea of forgiving yourself for letting it happen. Forgiving yourself for expectations. Forgiving yourself for not seeing it coming. Forgiving yourself for not getting over it as fast as people think you should. Or even as fast as you think you should.
Be kind to yourself. Accept the reality of it. It is your domain. It is your safe space. It will always be overwhelming. Break it down into peices. Handle the peices in the best way possible… for YOU.