Which one are you?

What is the meaning behind saying someone is toxic to you? Understanding those around you that are toxic to you, or that you may be toxic to, is important. There are certain personalities that simply overpower others. This isn’t always changable either. Those are the ones that hurt the most because walking away may end up being the best answer for everyone involved.

I read an article about this so I am going to pop in a few of their experts explanations.

“People with toxic qualities are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors,” Thomas says. “They can be hiding everywhere.”

Irwin describes a person with toxic qualities as anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally — someone who basically brings you down more than up.

“You may begin to feel dependent on him or her for their opinion, doubting your own,” she says.

“They can be draining and leave you emotionally wiped out,” Thomas says. “They want you to feel sorry for them and responsible for all their problems— and then fix these problems too.”

Article can be found https://greatist.com/live/dealing-with-a-toxic-person#So,-what-exactly-makes-a-person-toxic?

Spend the time

At the fun age of 29 plus a few, I find myself having no living grandparents. I have a wonderful grandmother in law, but mine are gone.

I never realized before how much I relied on grandparents knowledge for things over the years. Little daily things that they bestowed advice for that saved more time with the kids instead. Ways to cook more efficiently that somehow tasted better then any recipe I followed!

The hands on my shoulder when I faced something difficult. The smile that gave me the courage to keep pushing through the hard times. The never ending pictures and stories to fall back on when the days were slower.

Why don’t we notice how much we rely on this, how much we LOVE this, until it’s too late??

Hug your parents and grandparents. Take those pictures. Spend that time. It goes too fast.

Missing them always. 😢💔

Open doors

They always say when one door closes another will open.

I’ve heard multiple ways for that saying but that is the one I heard the most.

There is nothing wrong with making decisions to change things up to fit your desires better.

Who cares if its a job, a city, a lover or a friendship. You are not stuck anywhere or with anyone. They are all a few choices away from being different. When you decide to be free to make your own decisions the whole world opens up to you.

The question is how long will it take you to decide to make the change?

Will it take you even longer to accept it and forgive yourself for it?

No questions

There are a few things I have learned in life, without needing to randomly question it.

Here is the most important.

Everyone needs to have that group of people that they can just unload on without worry. Sometimes its just one person, sometimes its ten of them.

Life without them however is not ok.

They stand by you when you go through a breakup. They are right there when you fail that test, again. They don’t judge when you drop plans because you aren’t in mood (unless you do that too much.) They just get you. They don’t hesitate to call or show up at the wrong time.

They know that life brings high points, laughter, and great memories.

They also know that there will be bad times. Low times. Bad diagnoses, deaths, tears and heartbreak’s.

And yet they stay, through all of it.

Those people are vital. ❤

So now what

Now what?

That’s the only thought I have for this summer in the year following the Covid shutdown. Last year we did our part and stayed home or out of places more often then not. We made sure we wore masks and had a very realistic fear of the ‘what if’ seeing as I work healthcare and saw this from a different very deadly point of view.

However as a parent who’s children virtually learned all year so we didn’t get sucked into the quarentined bubble off and on, my kids need the outside world more then ever.

Every adult in my family has been vaccinated so I should be able to not worry as much going in and out of these places right? Yet I’m not sure.

It has nothing to do with false media junk, or the pressures of the world fear mongering me so please refrain from commenting about that OR the negative opinions of the vaccines. Yes I am asking out loud on social media platforms, so your opinion is valid to respond with I just don’t want the disrespect to outweigh the honest communications. I do respect your choice for you and yours, just please show the same respect here if you chose to comment.

Are you out and about? Indoor and outdoor? Still masking?

❤ Much love to you all. ❤

Little piece of advice

To all beings that are able to read this blog….

Don’t be an asshole!

This doesn’t seem like the hardest thing to accomplish right? Excluding specific experiences that deserve that response of course.

I mean in general. More specifically to what brought me to this topic I will acknowledge that I really mean in a relationship.

When a person has chosen you, and you have chosen them, to build a life with, why would you wreck that by being petty? It’s one thing in the beginning before things get too serious, however years down the road when there is so much invested.

Houses, kids, cars, pets or the simple peice of paper that you both stood up and signed in front of witnesses. Any combination of those listed options works too.

When you can not choose to respect your partner, to CHOOSE your partner every day, in almost any situation then there is a problem.

(Disclaimer before people come at me- I believe in choosing yourself and possibly your children first all of the time. I am in no way speaking of situation that involves people safety, physical or mental.)

I AM however speaking about cheating. If you are unhappy in your relationship, leave. If you are unsatisfied in your relationship, speak with your partner about what could change. If you settled for any reason whatsoever, and you meet The One, and you are sure, leave your relationship.

If you are the one switching from one social media site to another constantly because your partner is catching on, I am speaking to you.

If you are the one deleted texts, calls, DM’s, or changing peoples names in your phone to not get caught, I am talking to you.

If you just can’t help yourself from going to the bar, flirting with people and taking things too far, I am talking to you.

I am sick and tired of having to pick people up mentally, morally and yes sometimes physically because you suck as a human.

You are pathetic and do not deserve the people who dedicated stretches of time to you.

Do better. Be better. Better yet, go the f*** away.

When the skies open

I took my own challenge this last week and chose to dive back into true crime reading and documentaries the way I used to.

It does seem a little backwards to dive into such a heavy and negative subject matter when that is all that seems to be going on around us. Although sometimes when the skies open and show it’s beautiful mood, you let it whisk you away with it.

However, this is just thought provoking enough that I knew that it could occupy all of these little section of my mind that wanders away when bored to think about things it shouldn’t.

I needed this.

Dark crevices lead to strange rabbit holes of thought.

Heavy

I haven’t been writing recently. There really is not a good reason, and yet there are millions of excuses. I don’t often talk about feelings very well unless I am writing. Anytime that I don’t want to stop and think about something heavy happening in my life, I stop writing.

I have always done that. Sometimes I can recognize it fast, other times it takes longer. I’m not super down or dealing with things that are too heavy. No need to send out the men with straight jackets to lock me away.

Things are just heavy enough to keep me quiet.

Politics, COVID, healthcare working, shutdowns, unemployment, homeschooling, choices about sending kids back to school this year, to mask or not to mask… which promptly circles itself directly back to politics.

All things that I am not willing to talk about with people, keyboard or reality. Why do people have to be so mean? So petty when speaking to other human beings? Why is it so hard to accept that everyone has their own opinions? They don’t have to match yours. They SHOULDN’T match yours. They don’t live the same life as you. They haven’t seen the things that you have, not have they learned all of the things that you have. They have seen and learned their own. We can accept that as a difference and use the literal words ‘Embrace your differences’.

However when that becomes put to the test, the claws come out.

I have never seen so much ignorance as 2020 has brought to our lives.

There is no escaping it.

You can’t log onto anything on the internet without seeing it.

You can’t go to the grocery store without being accosted or glared at for whichever side of the mask debate you land on.

You can’t watch television, or speak to half of your friends or family without it coming up.

I understand that they all have purpose, and a good reason for debate. I absolutely see the point.

But DAMNIT this all is heavy.