You can’t make them

Recently I have noticed that when you force people around you to notice the good things that people do, they resist. 

You cant make them do it. 

The only thing that you can do is surround yourself as best as you can with positive things. Cute little sayings on canvas that you can post around your house. Inspirational videos to watch instead of news coverage of the most recent atrocities in the areas near you. Find a way to remove the most negative people around you, in the most effective way possible. Sometimes thats as simple as to stop calling or messaging the person. Block them on social media instead of deleting them. 

Find what makes you happy. Who cares what other people think. Who cares whoe doesnt understand your passions.

 Does it make you happy? 

Does it bring you peace? 

Does it calm your nerves? 

Then do it. 

In a sea of darkness

Have you ever felt like you were the light in a sea of darkness?

Have you noticed that it is so much easier to judge someone or something, than it is to be empathetic? It seems as if as humans, we are unable to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and understand what it must be like. Instead, when you look around all you ever see is what is wrong with everything.

What a sad kind of world that we live in when we recognize failures over achievements?

Was there a switch that was flipped somewhere to turn people into the judge and jury singlehandedly without ever hearing the testimony?

Have we finally hit the point in this world where kindness is never coming back? Where we believe that speaking bad about a person looks good on us?

We are so immune to people’s feelings and bodies being hurt that we fully believe that the best thing to do when you are around it is to pull out your phone and record the event?

We don’t want to focus on the horrible things, blocking out the war zones and death tolls in war impacted areas, but we want to capitalize on senseless tragedies that happen closer to home.

We certainly don’t want to focus on the kindness either. So we don’t pay attention to any charitable events or money-raising efforts, unless it is to point out how much of a scam they are.

We certainly can’t trouble ourselves to attend most of these events for the sake of good. Oh no, instead people show up to be able to see for themselves how the efforts being made are being wasted. So we sit there in our classy dress attire, making sure that you look just right for the part, all while judging the color of someone’s dress. The fact that the shoes or purse does not match the outfit. What would have possessed that person to get that haircut? She is too fat for that outfit, or he isn’t buff enough to pull off that shirt. You just can’t believe that the couple that just walked by you are still together, because EVERYONE knows that they fight like cats and dogs, sending him out to cheat and her to drink. Who cares that you have never seen any of that, because if the gossip mill said it, it must be true right?

Does any of this make you think of you? The group of friends that you are around, or maybe even your family?

Shame on you.

Shame on them.

Shame on all of us for letting our world get like this.

We all played a part. Either by participating, or sitting back and watching.

We need to do better.

We deserve better.

Be kind.

Teaching your younger self

Have you ever wanted to go back and give yourself advice? I sure have.

If you could go back and give myself advice at different ages growing up, what would it be?

I would love to go back and tell an extremely self-conscious twelve-year-old that she was beautiful. To stand firm for what she believed and not to let bull-headed teenagers, including herself, get in her way. She had so many plans! She knew what she wanted to do when she was older, had found her first love in a boy who treated her pretty good and other than fighting with her parents every once in a while her life was going pretty smooth. I would teach her to believe in herself, and to realize that everyone has their own body type that they were born with. You just have to learn to love yourself a little more so you can accept and appreciate what you were given.

**You are Beautiful**

I would go back and tell a heartbroken 16-year-old girl who was learning first hand about losing some one she loved that the world will keep turning. Her world was rocked to its absolute core, but she will stand back up and put her pieces back together. I would tell her to be stronger than she had ever been. I would tell her that just because one boy could not wrap his head around staying around to live his life until it got better, that it was absolutely not a reflection of her. I would hold her tight and tell her that despite the miscarriage, despite the loss of the person she thought would be the love of her life, she will survive.

**You are stronger than you will ever realize**

I would go back and tell my 19-year-old self that being a single mom at 19 would not define me. This hiccup would turn out to be the best turning point of her life, and that jackass that chose to walk away from his son would never be able to emotionally or physically harm them again.  I would try to steady her world a bit and help her get her footing settled back into the right direction if I could. However all the times I started in a direction and had to back pedal to try a different path just made me focus a little harder.

**Mistakes are the worlds way of teaching you humility**

I would go back and tell the 22-year-old woman that adoption didn’t have to mean goodbye.  I would help her understand that sometimes the hardest choices are the safest. I would remind her that heartbreak is an old friend by now. And my advice that I would give her would be to give herself a break. Life happens in mysterious ways and it is ok to admit defeat and take some me time. You can’t be a great mom to the one you already have if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

**Forgiveness IS an option.  You are only human.**

I would go back and tell my 25-year-old cynical self that good things can happen. It is easy to become calloused and bitter. Putting up walls to shield your heart is healthy, as long as you have a way to break it down safely. If your wall has become a way to hide from reality in such a way that you can no longer recognize good things when they come your way, you may need rethink some things.  I would tell her to go on that date with the boy she worked with. Let her neighbor bring her flowers. Let that smile happen.

**You ARE worth it. Good things CAN happen to you.**

 

The trouble With Essure

Today I had yet another friend of mine come up to me and ask me about the symptoms I noticed that came from my nickel allergy with the Essure Implant, which is a permanent birth control. I have to say that we have reached the point now where everyone that I know that has had these implants except one has now realized that they were reacting.

That is sad news my friends.

Let me remind you that there is a live lawsuit going on for many folks that have had to go through this process and that they are not legally allowed to talk publicly about their circumstances.

That being said, I completely recommend that if you know anybody including yourself that has been implanted with this device, please search through the symptoms list and decide if any of these have affected your life.

It is easy to blame these individual things that you are noticing to anything else going on in life. I went through at least twenty smaller symptoms before the bigger ones started. The thing about all of them were that they all started after the Essure implant were put in. Some easily could have been things that would have started with age, or with the idea that I suddenly had 3 kids in my house instead of 2. Maybe the mood swings, low libido, blood pressure issues and weight gain were all because the addition of the newest little one. Maybe the swollen ankles came from the quitting smoking right? And more of the weight gain? And the weird rashes all over my body got explained away as eczema even though the medicine never let it go away.

Guys this is the beginning of the list. We know this all just continues. Everything was ignored by not one, not even two, but THREE doctors. I had to be my own advocate. No one believed me. Holy hell, I barely believed me. If I had not have found other women going through the same thing I wouldn’t have grown a back bone and started pushing my doctors. My female doctor made me jump thousands of hoops. Not just for insurance either, she openly admitted all the way through this process that she wasn’t sold on it being the problem either.

I have always heard of invisible illnesses. I have close family members that go through this with doctors constantly. I never knew what that felt like. Now, I stand beside them instantly. They need people in their corner, even if I am the only cheerleader.

But this wasn’t invisible. They just though I was full of crap.

I can’t make you  read the symptom list. I can’t stand beside you and hold you when you start to notice the connection. I can’t force your doctors to believe you. However I am here, as moral support. As a friend that you can reach out to for advice, for someone to believe you or tell you the steps that I was put through to get to the other side.

The following link will open the best symptom list that I have found. It is updated and very well organized. This also will allow you to review a different site full of women’s stories and people to contact in regard to this awful device. This is not my list by any means.

Very well organized and updated symptom list for the Essure Implant

As of just this month or last, EVERY country outside of the US has stopped the sale of the ESSURE implant completely.

Just today, there are an unknown amount of women facing down Washington trying to get the United states to realize the lies that they are selling us with this product. They have lists of women affected, along with the symptoms that they have dealt with. The miscarriages. The babies that were born after the ESSURE was placed, some healthy, but a lot with developmental delays.

The start of this year federal judges were allowed to start reviewing class action lawsuits is the United States.

Be you own advocate. Find people on social media to help you understand what to do next. Lean on us and allow us to help you get through this.

Read more of my story involving my battle with Essure by following the following link. Please feel free to comment or message me.

My Essure Battle part 1

esisterstrong

 

Fake it til you make it

Inspiration is one of those tricky things these days.

What works one day is not guaranteed to work every other day.

A few years back I made it a point that I needed to laugh each and every day.

I know what you are going to say here.

Some days there is simply nothing to laugh at right? Those are the days that it is even more important to make sure that you do.

I have my own things that are guaranteed to make me laugh every time, but do you?

Is it as simple as looking through the videos on your  phone to be able to see the silly things that have happened in your life? Could be something that your child or pet was doing, or maybe even a friend or colleague.

Maybe you are the type that needs to find videos on Youtube or something similar. My favorite are silly pet video’s. My teenage son has me convinced that America’s Funniest Videos is making a come back (technically I am not positive it ever went away, as much as I just got too busy to find it).

Find something.

You need to keep your head up, with the outlook on life bright. It is really easy to fall down that rabbit hole and never find your way back out.

Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

 

Dark times

Somewhere along the line I think we all have forgotten that these hard, dark times in your life make you appreciate the simpler times. 

Without the ugly, how to we know the beautiful? 

They make you stronger. 

They make you braver. 

They give you a backbone. 

Never feel ashamed of what made you fall down. 

You just have to get back up. 

Know your value

There are times in your life where you realize those people who value you, and those who do not. 

Sometimes all it takes is a fight to show true colors. 

Other times it’s finding out that they are cheating you in some way. Maybe they are telling your personal business to other people. Maybe they are actually lying to your face about things. 

Sometimes they just pull away and dont show you the respect you deserve by explaining the problems to you, they are too busy telling them to everyone else. 

The only thing that comes out of these situations is knowing that you respect yourself enough to Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears. 

💗💗💗

When you just don’t want to

Did you know that it’s ok to just say no to things? 

You don’t have to always make up excuses. You don’t have to blame other people and say they cause you to miss something. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s your best friend, or the lady at work who throws too many parties. 

You can just say no. 

They can push, and not understand. Thats ok. They can even get mad. You can take the time and do the right thing and explain to them that these things just aren’t for you. You can explain that you don’t do crowds, you have anxiety, or you just needed some “me time”. They don’t normally care, but you can feel free to try it. 

But you don’t have to go to everything. 

Friends Family and Coworkers should all understand that you are your own person, with your own things that make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to miss everything. But sometimes it’s ok. 

Lose your Breathe

Sometimes you run across something thay just moves you. It could be a a picture, song, smell, maybe even a video. 

This picture is the calm before the storm from  Hurricane Harvey. I have no idea who took it, I found it as a picture being passed around social media. But it caught me. 

Interpret what you will, but I immediately saw this and saw mystery. Except it’s the best kind. 

The kind that tells you that you don’t need to always know the ending spot. You just have to get on the road. 

Now is the time

Today I challenged myself to spend time alone. As a young mom who continued to have children for many years, I never gave myself time to learn who I was.

I continue to challenge myself to shed old skin and become who I want to be, not who I was forced to be. I love my children beyond any words, however I lost myself. 

Now it’s time to find me.