My serenity

I have been being called out to the water for a few months now but the weather keeps getting in my way along with busy schedules of course. The other day I finally found the cutest beach to go to and I have to admit I felt a sense of being home. How can someone who has never lived on the water feel so completely at home when near it? Still havent gotten out onto a boat yet, and I may have to admit that I wont be able to this year.

But the serenity I found while staring out at its vastness is unmatched. The way my heart calmed to listen to the beat of the surf lapping on the sand.

Watching my middle sons excitement as he learned to battle against the waves made my heart swell. He feels it too. That calling. That need to be there. My oldest fights and complains about the sand, the youngest is scared to get too far in since she doesnt like water in her face.

To find something to tame the one wild child tho makes it even better. Id go back with him right now if I wasnt chained to this work chair by the shackles of being an adult.

Growing thru the process

Its amazing how our mental health levels can be affected by even the smallest change around us.

So many people discuss mental health as if it is nonexistant, or something to be talked about behind closed doors. However I have never noticed it to be any different then any other organ in our body.

When our pancreas can’t make insulin for us, we accept that it needs medicine and training without convincing them that they are just making it up.

And yet mental health, which affects every single one of us in its own way, gets judged.

My mental health journey is like a never ending roller coaster. Sometimes I’m coasting a straight(ish) line where everything stays pretty even keeled.

Then there are the sharp curves that you are moving too fast to be able to predict, or change. It doesnt matter which way it curves since it keeps you on the same level plane but it sure does make you scream and tense up.

Inevitably there are the build ups and quick falls. Those are the true tests in my opinion. Those are the things that determine what type of grit you are made of.

There is not one person alive that can say that they don’t feel the changes in their mental health from time to time.

Sure some handle it calmly and can keep it to themselves but it doesnt make them better in any way. The world is meant to be made up of unique souls so its nothing to be ashamed of.

Honestly learning how to handle yourself in these tests is the real fight. No I don’t mean learning how to HIDE them.

How to HANDLE them.

How to grow BECAUSE of them.

How to handle others around us going thru them.

How to realize that just because we can’t always SEE them, does not give us reason to not believe they are there.

Just a little slice

The porch swing sways gently.

The birds are quiet except the occasion chirp.

The outdoor animal’s have scurried to find cover.

The trees are swaying with the breeze.

The sound of the rain hitting the earth soothes my soul

Almost more then the precious coffee in my thermos.

So here I am

 

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Rocking back and forth on the swing

light blanket covering my lap

content with my coffee

reading my newest self help book

I think I may have found a slice of heaven.

 

Toxicity

In the last few years I started to see the toxic relationships that I had kept around me. Little by little I began cleansing my friendships, nurturing the ones that are healthy to both parties and letting go of the ones hurting me.

This hasn’t always been easy. I had to let go a person that my family found themself quite attached to. However it has shown in the growth that has happened since that seperation that it was damaging to all of us.

What I have noticed though is that my children have realized how much one persons negative nature can hold your growth back, and it doesn’t matter what age you are.

They have learned to be positive about more, and stopped always looking to the thing that could go wrong. They see it still, they have always been taught to keep vigilant to the pros and cons of every situation. They just chose to the positive behaviors and choices come through stronger.

I am proud of their strengths and I relish in the growths that I have noticed.

In exchange they learned that parents can have their hearts broken too and come back stronger.

Little things

Anyone else get lost watching disney/pixar movies with their kids?

No? Just me?

Thats ok too.

I’ll be here, coloring in my adult try not to swear coloring book with my kids who have disney and superhero books for themself.

Did I mention we are in a self made fort?