When you just don’t want to

Did you know that it’s ok to just say no to things? 

You don’t have to always make up excuses. You don’t have to blame other people and say they cause you to miss something. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s your best friend, or the lady at work who throws too many parties. 

You can just say no. 

They can push, and not understand. Thats ok. They can even get mad. You can take the time and do the right thing and explain to them that these things just aren’t for you. You can explain that you don’t do crowds, you have anxiety, or you just needed some “me time”. They don’t normally care, but you can feel free to try it. 

But you don’t have to go to everything. 

Friends Family and Coworkers should all understand that you are your own person, with your own things that make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to miss everything. But sometimes it’s ok. 

Lose your Breathe

Sometimes you run across something thay just moves you. It could be a a picture, song, smell, maybe even a video. 

This picture is the calm before the storm from  Hurricane Harvey. I have no idea who took it, I found it as a picture being passed around social media. But it caught me. 

Interpret what you will, but I immediately saw this and saw mystery. Except it’s the best kind. 

The kind that tells you that you don’t need to always know the ending spot. You just have to get on the road. 

Now is the time

Today I challenged myself to spend time alone. As a young mom who continued to have children for many years, I never gave myself time to learn who I was.

I continue to challenge myself to shed old skin and become who I want to be, not who I was forced to be. I love my children beyond any words, however I lost myself. 

Now it’s time to find me. 

If you never try…..

Making the decision to make changes or try something new is hard. This idea to put my feelings, my thoughts, my inner peace onto paper for everyone to read is daunting. 

My opinions can be different from yours. 

My feelings can feel different than yours. 

My eyes can see the same thing that your eyes see, but I can still see it different than yours. 

I can still say it. I can still put my pretty little fingers to these nice keys and type it out. I can still express my thoughts. 

So can you. 

Choose you thoughts carefully

I have an inner fight every single day to keep my thoughts positive, my feelings neutral and my anger cool. This is not an easy task for me, seeing as I am a reactor. I react to EVERYTHING.  One of the best lessons I was taught growing up came from a teacher I had all the way back in 2nd grade. 

“You may not be able to choose the things that happen to and around you, but you choose everything else. From your reaction, to what you focus on every minute of your day.” 

Treat yourself

You can not love another until you love yourself. 

How many people would you list first if I asked the people you love the most? 

Can you name 5 things you like about yourself? 

Forgive yourself, love yourself, treat yourself right. That teaches you partner to treat you as well. That teaches your kids to treat themselves right and to treat others right. 

It starts and ends with your choices

When I was little, I would always notice that there seemed to be two types of people. 

The first type seemed to consist of people who were always too careful, too worried about other people’s opinions. They did what other people wanted, wore cloths to look like the peeple around them, and tried there best to “Just Fit In”. 

The second type tends to be more rambunctious. They are louder,  they laugh a lot and they seemed to flutter around and talk to everyone. 

Neither group seemed to be very deep into these conversations that they were having. Neither group seemed to really be listening to people, they kept it more superficial but I didn’t understand why. 

I never seemed to fit into those types of groups, and spent a long time thinking something was wrong with me because of that.

But I was wrong. 

For years I stayed around people I didn’t like, because I felt like it made me fit in better. I watched how much I voiced my opinions, because not everyone agreed with me and I am not always up for what feels like a violent debate on my opinion. People are asshole and they don’t like you to feel different then you, so they ram their opinions down your throat instead. 

For too long I worried about people’s feelings, when they blatantly did not care about mine. I stepped up to bat for them over and over again just to have them tear me to shreds when talking about me to others. I would even have the audacity to be HURT when words they said got back to me. 

For too many years I spoke negatively. I used my words to explain the wrongs around me, and not as much about the good things that were surrounding me. I can say that I did this because that’s seems to be the society norm (which it is) but that would be lying. I made a choice. 

It’s time for this all to change. You don’t get to have power over me society. I do. 

It’s time to make the choices that benefit my family and myself. I have neglected myself for far too long to be caught up in societies bullshit anymore. 

Turn the switch off

Today I wish I could make my life slow down. There is just way to many things that I want to do, and way too little time to enjoy it .

What’s worse is that lately I find myself not being to relax to fullest, or even enjoy things the way I should. 

Is this normal? Am I that strange person that can never find my inner peace? 

That doesn’t seem right tho. I used to be able to, and I don’t feel like it is that far off. It’s more like I have to find the switch and turn it back off. I’m not sure when I flipped it, or why I would of thought it would have been a good idea, but it happened. 

So how do I do that? 

The 3 person relationship

Have you ever noticed that it is always easier to give advice when it is a situation that you are not involved with?

It is easy to see EXACTLY what the problem is with your friends relationship, and you just can not understand why they stay and put up with it right?

So you set to making sure that they understand that you have the solution to their whole relationship, and it is just that your friend has to leave. There is no way that they deserve all of these bad things that you have heard about happening in their life. The other person in this situation clearly is always wrong, and can never do anything right so what in the world are they doing staying in this relationship?

You act like what you are doing is all in good nature, just to try to help them because you know they deserve better. You bite your tongue and then just make sideways comments about how that is just not normal. You listen to them while they are upset, pick them up when they are hurt and you go and pick them up when “they just need to get out.”

So you must know everything that goes on in that relationship right?

Because everyone goes out and bitches to their friends when they did something wrong to someone else right? They openly and easily confess to having the wrong tone of voice, or over reacting to something said to them. Obviously they will tell you when they hurt the other ones feeling by the choices they made right? Or when they forgot (AGAIN) to do something for the other one, that they have been asking for weeks. Everyone downplays the situation when they are the one that has done something wrong.

Amazingly, you are completely forgiving for any of the wrong doing your friend has done, if they have told you.

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DISCLAIMER: If you know that your friend is being physically abused, please step in and do anything to help. I do understand that sometimes, people have incredibly low self-esteem and stay in a bad relationship because they feel that they deserve it. I completely understand and stand behind the idea of making sure that your friend understands their self worth. What I don’t understand is when you continuously bad mouth your friends relationship, because you yourself do not understand how relationships work. You understand one side, not both.¬† It take’s both sides to make relationship work.

 

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