The way you look

If you always look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you will never have enough.

— Oprah Winfrey —

Oprah has been one of my favorite people to listen to over the years. She is well versed in the things that can go wrong, not just from what other peoples stories can teach her but through her own life. This helps her be realistic with the advice that she gives.

Too many times we are listening to people who have never lived a life anywhere close to the things they are speaking about.

Surface Pressure

I’m the strong one, I’m not nervous
I’m as tough as the crust of the earth is
I move mountains, I move churches
And I glow ’cause I know what my worth is
I don’t ask how hard the work is
Got a rough indestructible surface
Diamonds and platinum, I find ’em, I flatten ’em
I take what I’m handed, I break what’s demanding
But
Under the surface
I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus
Under the surface
Was Hercules ever like “Yo, I don’t wanna fight Cerberus”?
Under the surface
I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
A flaw or a crack
The straw in the stack
That breaks the camel’s back
What breaks the camel’s back it’s
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’till you just go pop, whoa
Give it to your sister, your sister’s older
Give her all the heavy things we can’t shoulder
Who am I if I can’t run with the ball?
If I fall to
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won’t let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ’til it’s ready to blow, whoa
Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger
See if she can hang on a little longer
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?
If I falter
Under the surface
I hide my nerves, and it worsens, I worry something is gonna hurt us
Under the surface
The ship doesn’t swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is
Under the surface
I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this?
Line up the dominoes
A light wind blows
You try to stop it tumbling
But on and on it goes
But wait
If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations
Would that free some room up for joy
Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?
Instead we measure this growing pressure
Keeps growing, keep going
‘Cause all we know is
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh
Give it to your sister, it doesn’t hurt
And see if she can handle every family burden
Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks
No mistakes just
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won’t let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ’til it’s ready to blow, whoa
Give it to your sister and never wonder
If the same pressure would’ve pulled you under
Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?
No cracks, no breaks
No mistakes, no pressure

The Fact that these are lyrics to a Disney movies song blew my mind. However this did not stop me from adding it to my Spotify playlist and jamming out to it at the gym this morning. 🙂

Thank you guys for taking the time to read my blogs! This is a great writing experience that has also worked well at being my therapy without a therapist!

Limited Time

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. —Steve Jobs–

Recently on social media I have been seeing a post shared that makes me think about this quote. The post shows an empty living room, no covering on the windows or sliding door and the saying on it says ‘This room is filled with the amount of people who’s opinions help pay your bills’. Powerful stuff honestly.

We let other peoples opinions affect our mental health more then they should ever be allowed to. They don’t know the whole story. Even our beloved parents, who most seem to be looking out for the best for us, don’t know everything. We hit an age that we don’t explain things to them as much. They are focused on their own lives and times have changed since they were that age. People are different and its hard to explain that to them. No one except for you knows your whole story.

So no one but your own opinion should matter most of the time.

***I will pull off to say that of course there is a mental health stigma that comes to mind here since a lot of the time that missing chemical likes to trick our minds into thinking that we are absolutely nothing. It plays tricks to make you think that you are worthless and people would be better off without you. That is the time where it becomes important to talk to someone and let them guide you to better clarity with steps getting you more aligned.

When the barb strikes

I found this poem on social media by Shelby Leigh. I find there are some people that say things that pierce right into your soul. This was one of them.

to the person i am today:

i promise i will start loving you again.

i just need to remember

how it feels to be proud of you,

to look in the mirror and be in awe of you.

i just need to remember what it was like

before i told you

you weren’t good enough.

i buried you alive, piling

doubt and loathing

onto your body like soil,

so only i can bring you back to life

(and i will

i promise.)

Serve the world

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

This one truly does hit me pretty hard. You don’t need to make yourself less just so someone else can feel better about themself.

Writers Block

I seem to find myself at a level of depression and exhaustion that my creativity for writing and editing has stalled. I know it is another level of writers block that I have to get through but I can’t help being overly aggravated.

I have a whole slew of excuses I could use, however I think I will just allow that fact’s to tell the story.

Man of Value

Try not to become a man of success, but rather become a man of value.

Albert Einstein

This one is one that I have built my parenting around. Success is great don’t get me wrong, but it will feel empty if you are standing there alone. Being a person of value makes people want to be around you, not run from you. Sometimes when you only focus on the successful side of things, you don’t learn how to be a decent human.

Don’t be a prisoner

If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things that you can’t change.

Tony Gaskins

During the onslaught of seasonal depression that couples with the cold dreary weather for so many, I chose to focus on the things that I CAN change. There are always things that can’t be changed, that we have to find some ways to adapt to them. However, changing how we handle things is always an option as well. I have toxic family members just like so many others but at this point I have learned to let their comments, annoying questions and constant judgement bounce off of me.

It sounds so easy but I assure you it is not. I have told myself for years that their opinions of the world and the people that are in it comes from their own upbringing and mental health. They wouldn’t chose to tear you apart unless it makes them feel better about themself. The only way that specific type of behavior makes someone feel better is if they are absolutely shredded inside and trying to hold it all together with bandaid fixes, like evil thrills.

Not that I think that you should care about that for everyone, but It helps me understand and not allow them to win in this scenario.

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