Sunshine and rainbows

‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.

Let me tell you something you already know.

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain’t gonna have a life.


The need to surrender

  1. Surrender
Surrender …I surrender to you my past, present, and future problems. I ask You to take hold over every aspect of my life. I surrender to You all my hurt, pain, worry, doubt, fear, and anxiety, and I ask You to wash me clean. I release everything into Your compassionate care. Please speak to me clearly, [Lord]. Open my ears to hear Your voice. Open my heart to commune with You more deeply. I want to feel Your loving embrace. Open the doors that need to be opened and close the doors that need to be closed. Please set my feet upon the straight and narrow road that leads to everlasting life

I recently had a family member pass away that had battled addiction for most of his short life. I haven’t dealt with it very well. Everyone keeps reaching out since I have a horrible habit of hiding from things like this. They have the best intentions for sure. I love them for knowing to keep trying, but they trigger an immediate auto response of “I’m fine.”

How do you get passed this? I have lost too many people over the years to be naive enough to think there is an answer. Especially one that would happen as fast as i want it to.

Sometimes I search up addiction and recovery videos on different social media platforms. I think I do it to give myself a way to cry and get the hidden feelings out.

Time heals everything right? That’s what they say at least.

I Believe

When dealing with the loss of an addict, sometimes it is good to look up the mentality of what they were fighting. Positivity in the struggle is a very important part and I recommend taking a moment to read.

I Believe
I know that the first step in all spiritual healing is to believe.
I believe!
I open my mind and heart believing in your infinite power and possibility.
I believe that healing is a dynamic and reachable experience,
a reality that can be experienced right now.
I maintain a patient and loving attitude,
for I believe that your healing activity is now at work in my mind and body.
I look forward, with joyful expectation, to the perfect wholeness
that you are now bringing into manifestation through me.
I believe in your constant expression of perfect good in and through me.
I rest in the certainty of your healing power.
I know that with you all things are possible.

The struggle

And then there were days like today.

The kind of days that make you question EVERYTHING.

The ones that you don’t want to even get out of bed.

The mental health day that lets you check out of the day.

Maybe a few days. Some people need longer for specific needs.

The biggest thing it just to remember to get up again.

But today…

Today I will let the rain fall,

Let the kids keep themselves busy

Turn on a good show

Cry a little. Eat like crap.

And rest.

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