Reality vs bliss

I recently learned that they now say September is the month of recovery. They call it National Recovery Month. For a whole month they talk about people bottoming out to the lowest of the lows and finding ways to recovery, and stay recovered. They embrace that this is a disease that will never go away for them and that this is a battle that they will always face. One that they could relapse easily with just one wrong decision. They speak about the steps that addicts will have to take to get clean, stay sober and make the right decisions day after day.

I applaud every move that they make in the process of teaching everyone that addiction is a disease. Yes there are choices being made, but in the end it is a disease. Addiction hurts everyone, not just the addict. Those people that are around the addict didn’t get to make the choice which makes this disease one of the most heartbreaking diseases I think I have ever seen. I love that they made a national month for it because it shows how much progress that they have made in attempting to show addicts and those people around them that we realize that it is a disease. It won’t heal the hurts, it won’t right the wrongs. It will however get us closer to understanding how to help and possibly prevent it from happening more.

This month marks the birthday of my cousin who died last year, from complications from addiction. I have spent 10 months ignoring his death. You see, he had recently gone to work and live at an inpatient recovery center that helped sober him up the year prior. That was the first place that actually kept him sober longer than a few months. He fell in love with the surrounding, he just hated being so far away from all of us. It’s very easy to just trick your mind into thinking that is the reason I haven’t seen him. For a while I stopped using the platform that I spoke with him the most this last few years (Snapchat). We had switched to that so we could keep a streak while we show each other the scenery and the kids to make us both feel like we were still a daily part of each others lives.

Now in a months time it will be his first birthday in heaven along with the one year anniversary. Seems like I am going to have to accept the realistic side of things.

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