Heavy

I haven’t been writing recently. There really is not a good reason, and yet there are millions of excuses. I don’t often talk about feelings very well unless I am writing. Anytime that I don’t want to stop and think about something heavy happening in my life, I stop writing.

I have always done that. Sometimes I can recognize it fast, other times it takes longer. I’m not super down or dealing with things that are too heavy. No need to send out the men with straight jackets to lock me away.

Things are just heavy enough to keep me quiet.

Politics, COVID, healthcare working, shutdowns, unemployment, homeschooling, choices about sending kids back to school this year, to mask or not to mask… which promptly circles itself directly back to politics.

All things that I am not willing to talk about with people, keyboard or reality. Why do people have to be so mean? So petty when speaking to other human beings? Why is it so hard to accept that everyone has their own opinions? They don’t have to match yours. They SHOULDN’T match yours. They don’t live the same life as you. They haven’t seen the things that you have, not have they learned all of the things that you have. They have seen and learned their own. We can accept that as a difference and use the literal words ‘Embrace your differences’.

However when that becomes put to the test, the claws come out.

I have never seen so much ignorance as 2020 has brought to our lives.

There is no escaping it.

You can’t log onto anything on the internet without seeing it.

You can’t go to the grocery store without being accosted or glared at for whichever side of the mask debate you land on.

You can’t watch television, or speak to half of your friends or family without it coming up.

I understand that they all have purpose, and a good reason for debate. I absolutely see the point.

But DAMNIT this all is heavy.

Author: Bookstore owners daughter

Mom. Wife. Woman. Pet lover. Survivor. Medical Miracle. Fertile Myrtle. Sister. Daughter. Granddaughter. Book lover.

6 thoughts on “Heavy”

  1. i feel talking or writing about it can release the inside tension such things bring to us. it helps with a better mental health. you are not alone with all the feelings you have expressed and sometimes just knowing someone else is feeling the same, makes us more connected and not have feelings of being alone. it is not a sign of weakness to express these feelings and thoughts. thanks for sharing

    Like

  2. I’ve been finding everything rather overwhelming lately, too. 2020 really is a shitstorm and there’s no getting away from the news, the fear, the negativity and violence and hate on top of the pandemic. Sometimes it’s good to try to take a break from the news and social media, distract yourself as much as possible, and let whatever happens happen with regard to writing. I imagine all of the heaviness can make writing difficult. It does for me, at least. Take good care of yourself. It’s heavy but it won’t break you ♥

    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

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