The loss

Recently we had a ‘take your breathe away’ loss in our family that brought us to our knees with a sobering reality. We have been in this spot before, of eye opening clarity, but strangely allowed our self to get back to the blind leading the blind.

One moment we lived a few states away, keeping up with each other via texting and other social media platforms. The next a family member knocking on my door to make sure I didn’t find out any other way that he had passed away.

I am one of those people who have spent a lifetime being friends with “calamity janes” that seem to always have the crazy things happen to them. These things never happen to me but they always happen around me. I should be used to the crazy flux of emotions to happen. That’s not me trying to throw my own pity party by any means. That’s just me wondering why I have not come up with a better way to handle myself.

Then again these types of things are too sudden.

Too abrupt.

Too Final.

I can’t wrap my head around it. My heart aches. I miss my friend. I want to go back to the simple talk about awesome new tattoo’s and the best cover bands. I wanna laugh about family reunions and the weird stages our cousins go through. I wanna share my children with you and take more vacations with you.

Now we can’t.


16 thoughts on “The loss

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  1. I lost my Cousin about a month ago. She was 32, and left two small kids behind. Cancer. We grew up together, we played together and went on vacations together. I can truly relate to how you feel right now…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t know what to say when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t anywhere near enough. But I am sorry, I am very sorry for you and your family. Loss is painful and messy and I don’t think many people really expect it or handle it as they’d hope to; however you’re dealing with it, however that flux of emotions takes you, let yourself feel it without judgement. I wish I could do something more than say I’m sorry, but please know we – your blogging family – are thinking of you 🌹

    Caz xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh KG, what a heartbreaking post. I am deeply saddened for your loss. I pray your heart is beginning to heal. Loss is never easy, and it’s even more difficult when we simply don’t understand why. Sudden can be a blessing for the lost loved one, but terribly difficult for those left to grieve their absence.

    Sending my love & healing prayers your way. How are you feeling now?

    Liked by 1 person

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