The sound of the rain on a netted gazebo while I snuggle up with a laptop and blanket has got to be one of the best things ever. There is a lot of heavy things going on recently around the world. There is so many opinions from the very start that everyone has, and to this day I don’t think that there have been many answers provided.
I don’t know about everyone else, but my life was already feeling pretty heavy before all this. So this isn’t appreciated by me. Not like that even matters.
So it has been a personal goal of mine to be able to find things to lighten the mood for everyone. Between my family and fellow hospital buddies this hasn’t left the most time for me to focus on what makes my moments seem a little lighter.
This definitely makes the list.
Recently we had a ‘take your breathe away’ loss in our family that brought us to our knees with a sobering reality. We have been in this spot before, of eye opening clarity, but strangely allowed our self to get back to the blind leading the blind.
One moment we lived a few states away, keeping up with each other via texting and other social media platforms. The next a family member knocking on my door to make sure I didn’t find out any other way that he had passed away.
I am one of those people who have spent a lifetime being friends with “calamity janes” that seem to always have the crazy things happen to them. These things never happen to me but they always happen around me. I should be used to the crazy flux of emotions to happen. That’s not me trying to throw my own pity party by any means. That’s just me wondering why I have not come up with a better way to handle myself.
Then again these types of things are too sudden.
I can’t wrap my head around it. My heart aches. I miss my friend. I want to go back to the simple talk about awesome new tattoo’s and the best cover bands. I wanna laugh about family reunions and the weird stages our cousins go through. I wanna share my children with you and take more vacations with you.
Now we can’t.
Someone recently said to me that adults don’t have favorite colors. I have to admit I stared at them like they might have said the craziest thing out loud.
Does this mean that I am not an adult?