Today I am allowing myself to be emotional. I’m scared of things to come. I’m scared to go to work. I’m scared of what this isolation can mean for my patients health. Mental and physical.
We all put a brave face forward. I try hard to do as much paying it forward type things as possible these days because you never know what kind of days people are having.
I wish everyone was allowed to watch what COVID does to people’s bodies so they would understand why to stay home.
I get irrationally mad when I see parks full. Church’s full. All I can think is that one of them will be my next patient that I have to take care of while they die alone because of selfishness. Could be their own selfish decision or there roommate. Their kid or significant other.
It makes me feel worse for those that got it even though they did everything they can to avoid it.
I’m scared of how my coworkers and I will feel when one of us comes back positive for it. No matter how much precaution we take, we are still continually exposed.
I’m allowed to be scared today. Then I will take a deep breath, get out of my car and walk through those doors into the madhouse for my 12 hour shift.