Toxicity

In the last few years I started to see the toxic relationships that I had kept around me. Little by little I began cleansing my friendships, nurturing the ones that are healthy to both parties and letting go of the ones hurting me.

This hasn’t always been easy. I had to let go a person that my family found themself quite attached to. However it has shown in the growth that has happened since that seperation that it was damaging to all of us.

What I have noticed though is that my children have realized how much one persons negative nature can hold your growth back, and it doesn’t matter what age you are.

They have learned to be positive about more, and stopped always looking to the thing that could go wrong. They see it still, they have always been taught to keep vigilant to the pros and cons of every situation. They just chose to the positive behaviors and choices come through stronger.

I am proud of their strengths and I relish in the growths that I have noticed.

In exchange they learned that parents can have their hearts broken too and come back stronger.

Outside the box

Sometimes life gets heavy enough that I need to find simple ways to be able to pull back. I know that I have spoken on this before but this isn’t a one time a year type of thing. I have noticed that it seems to be worse for me  during colder months but we all have them randomly thru the years I assume.

I usually find a few different things to be able to lighten things up and vary between them. Most years it starts with photography and works its way into funny animal videos before ending with being able to watch the television show Funniest home videos. There are times that I add other things in, depending on how I have been feeling in the weeks before this.

Sometimes I watch a lot of Youtube videos that welcome soldiers home. I really enjoy the ones that involve surprising family members with their homecoming. Those are almost always guaranteed to make cry, and sometimes that is exactly what I need at that point.

This time I actually find myself watching movie series obsessively. There are three or four of them that I have fallen in love with over the years and I have been lucky to have them all available to me to watch. Some I own and some I can find on different platforms available to watch, in order.  I am positive that my husband thinks that I have lost my mind, seeing as he is not the type of person to watch movies he has already seen very often.

Even though I understand that adult life can be quite monotonous I feel as though I am failing at it. Just like most other adults I struggle to keep my spending under control and pay my bills on time. However I think that I forgot to keep things fun and enjoyable enough to let it all balance out to each other. I find myself more afraid to spend the money on the things I think would be fun, in fear that I would not be able to keep up with bill paying and other necessary needs for my family.

So here I sit, watching my movies instead, on the cable network that I struggle to pay for.