Should I come with a warning?

I find myself having too deep of conversations with everyone recently. It is almost as if I can’t pull back and just regularly have day to day conversations. When I do it seems like it is just to fill the silence.

I am at this point where my kids are all just old enough to not need me constantly, but young enough to still need supervision.

This leads to me having time to think. Which, don’t get me wrong is a great change from the last few years. However it’s shown me how little I have been able to have deep conversations in the last ten years with having toddlers constantly around.

I was always so proud of my ability to not lose myself to motherhood completely. I honestly thought I had a handle on it. Now looking back, I was clearly wrong.

Over the years, my group of friend had kept me sane. The ability to meet them at the park and talk while our kids played helped all of us The meals we would cook just to have an excuse to get us all around each other. The conversations we had with our kids about how it didn’t matter if they like ‘so-and-so’ because Mommy was friends with their Mommy so they had to get over it.

Then one by one, those friendships fell apart. Some for valid reasons, some not so valid. Some are missed, some are not. All I know for sure is they ended.

So then you find yourself having to still get thru the day to day grind with kids. Work friends become closer friends, better friends then the ones you grew up with in most cases. If you are lucky they will have kids close in ge to yours as well.

But it doesn’t prepare you for how to handle this period in your life. I still have to go to work most days of course. There are still events you have to bring your children to and sports schedules to pull your hair out trying to follow as best as possible. There are family get togethers, and never ending bills stacking up on counter.

However I find myself having the time to honestly learn who I am.

Is there a way to wear a sign that warns people of the possibility of deeper conversations that could occur unintentionally?

Who taught us not to?

“It’s easy to have FAITH everything is going to work out, when everything is working out. It’s much harder to have faith when you are facing challenges in your life. But that is exactly when you need to apply your faith.”

This is the beginning of a speech I heard recently call It will not be easy – But it will be worth it.

I felt this on so many levels. I grew up in a very religious family so on first reading of course I relate this to a religious theme. However the more that I got thinking about it the more I realized that it can be applied to ANYTHING.

We all see the obstacles in front of us as boulders, and those behind us as anthills.

When we are trudging thru our daily life do you beleive in yourself to be able to do things right the first time?

Do you put your faith in the idea that things will work out and you will get thru it, even if it looks daunting?

If not are you the type of person that doubts yourself and never beleives that things will work out in your favor?

The bigger question I face daily is why is it so easy to doubt yourself? What has made us get to the point where we doubt our abilities before choosing to beleive in ourself?

Have faith in your own self.

Beleive in yourself.

Love yourself.