Turn the switch off

Today I wish I could make my life slow down. There is just way to many things that I want to do, and way too little time to enjoy it .

What’s worse is that lately I find myself not being to relax to fullest, or even enjoy things the way I should. 

Is this normal? Am I that strange person that can never find my inner peace? 

That doesn’t seem right tho. I used to be able to, and I don’t feel like it is that far off. It’s more like I have to find the switch and turn it back off. I’m not sure when I flipped it, or why I would of thought it would have been a good idea, but it happened. 

So how do I do that? 

The 3 person relationship

Have you ever noticed that it is always easier to give advice when it is a situation that you are not involved with?

It is easy to see EXACTLY what the problem is with your friends relationship, and you just can not understand why they stay and put up with it right?

So you set to making sure that they understand that you have the solution to their whole relationship, and it is just that your friend has to leave. There is no way that they deserve all of these bad things that you have heard about happening in their life. The other person in this situation clearly is always wrong, and can never do anything right so what in the world are they doing staying in this relationship?

You act like what you are doing is all in good nature, just to try to help them because you know they deserve better. You bite your tongue and then just make sideways comments about how that is just not normal. You listen to them while they are upset, pick them up when they are hurt and you go and pick them up when “they just need to get out.”

So you must know everything that goes on in that relationship right?

Because everyone goes out and bitches to their friends when they did something wrong to someone else right? They openly and easily confess to having the wrong tone of voice, or over reacting to something said to them. Obviously they will tell you when they hurt the other ones feeling by the choices they made right? Or when they forgot (AGAIN) to do something for the other one, that they have been asking for weeks. Everyone downplays the situation when they are the one that has done something wrong.

Amazingly, you are completely forgiving for any of the wrong doing your friend has done, if they have told you.

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DISCLAIMER: If you know that your friend is being physically abused, please step in and do anything to help. I do understand that sometimes, people have incredibly low self-esteem and stay in a bad relationship because they feel that they deserve it. I completely understand and stand behind the idea of making sure that your friend understands their self worth. What I don’t understand is when you continuously bad mouth your friends relationship, because you yourself do not understand how relationships work. You understand one side, not both.  It take’s both sides to make relationship work.

 

Forgiven, but not forgotten

Relationships are hard.

Every one tells you this and it is so easy to nod you head and act like you understand because you have had relationships your whole life right? Right from the moment that you are in the womb, you are having a relationship with the woman who is carrying you. You may or may not be aware of any of it, but it is happening. You have a mother, a father, possibly siblings, grandparents, neighbors, pet, etc. Just to name a few.

You have been able to handle those haven’t you? Sure some have been easier, some harder. Likely have had some fights with some of them, maybe even stopped talking to one or two of them.

I guarantee that you have been hurt by at least one of them right? Maybe a parent not letting you do what you want, or a comment made by someone who struck the wrong cord with you.

These are all relationship’s though right?

Of course.

So you get into your first grown relationship and everything is butterflies, kisses and laughing right? So what happens when it isn’t?

I don’t mean bad as in fists, pushing  and hurting. I mean what happens when you have to WORK for it.

Yelling. Screaming. Tears. Anger. Hurt. HATE.

That same passion that brought you together causes you passionately fight too. Times like this call for some real love because these fights can get super ugly. You spend your whole life knowing that some people are absolutely born to play on the debate club, while others flounder. This is not the time to be floundering my friends.

It also isn’t the time to whip out that sharp shooting tongue either. It can be really easy to just let loose with every insult that you know, but there is a really important lesson to keep in mind here.

People remember what you said. You were hurt, or mad and lashing out, but they were listening.

Words hurt.

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