Inner peace

Throughout my entire life I have always had one constant source of calm. One way to dissapear and spend some time focusing on my inner peace. 

That’s what it’s all about. 

With everything in life being about taking care of others, it’s too easy to forget yourself. 

I continue on my path to slow down and make peace with myself. 

Know your value

There are times in your life where you realize those people who value you, and those who do not. 

Sometimes all it takes is a fight to show true colors. 

Other times it’s finding out that they are cheating you in some way. Maybe they are telling your personal business to other people. Maybe they are actually lying to your face about things. 

Sometimes they just pull away and dont show you the respect you deserve by explaining the problems to you, they are too busy telling them to everyone else. 

The only thing that comes out of these situations is knowing that you respect yourself enough to Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears. 

💗💗💗

When you just don’t want to

Did you know that it’s ok to just say no to things? 

You don’t have to always make up excuses. You don’t have to blame other people and say they cause you to miss something. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s your best friend, or the lady at work who throws too many parties. 

You can just say no. 

They can push, and not understand. Thats ok. They can even get mad. You can take the time and do the right thing and explain to them that these things just aren’t for you. You can explain that you don’t do crowds, you have anxiety, or you just needed some “me time”. They don’t normally care, but you can feel free to try it. 

But you don’t have to go to everything. 

Friends Family and Coworkers should all understand that you are your own person, with your own things that make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to miss everything. But sometimes it’s ok. 

Lose your Breathe

Sometimes you run across something thay just moves you. It could be a a picture, song, smell, maybe even a video. 

This picture is the calm before the storm from  Hurricane Harvey. I have no idea who took it, I found it as a picture being passed around social media. But it caught me. 

Interpret what you will, but I immediately saw this and saw mystery. Except it’s the best kind. 

The kind that tells you that you don’t need to always know the ending spot. You just have to get on the road. 

Now is the time

Today I challenged myself to spend time alone. As a young mom who continued to have children for many years, I never gave myself time to learn who I was.

I continue to challenge myself to shed old skin and become who I want to be, not who I was forced to be. I love my children beyond any words, however I lost myself. 

Now it’s time to find me. 

If you never try…..

Making the decision to make changes or try something new is hard. This idea to put my feelings, my thoughts, my inner peace onto paper for everyone to read is daunting. 

My opinions can be different from yours. 

My feelings can feel different than yours. 

My eyes can see the same thing that your eyes see, but I can still see it different than yours. 

I can still say it. I can still put my pretty little fingers to these nice keys and type it out. I can still express my thoughts. 

So can you. 

Choose you thoughts carefully

I have an inner fight every single day to keep my thoughts positive, my feelings neutral and my anger cool. This is not an easy task for me, seeing as I am a reactor. I react to EVERYTHING.  One of the best lessons I was taught growing up came from a teacher I had all the way back in 2nd grade. 

“You may not be able to choose the things that happen to and around you, but you choose everything else. From your reaction, to what you focus on every minute of your day.” 

Treat yourself

You can not love another until you love yourself. 

How many people would you list first if I asked the people you love the most? 

Can you name 5 things you like about yourself? 

Forgive yourself, love yourself, treat yourself right. That teaches you partner to treat you as well. That teaches your kids to treat themselves right and to treat others right. 

It starts and ends with your choices

When I was little, I would always notice that there seemed to be two types of people. 

The first type seemed to consist of people who were always too careful, too worried about other people’s opinions. They did what other people wanted, wore cloths to look like the peeple around them, and tried there best to “Just Fit In”. 

The second type tends to be more rambunctious. They are louder,  they laugh a lot and they seemed to flutter around and talk to everyone. 

Neither group seemed to be very deep into these conversations that they were having. Neither group seemed to really be listening to people, they kept it more superficial but I didn’t understand why. 

I never seemed to fit into those types of groups, and spent a long time thinking something was wrong with me because of that.

But I was wrong. 

For years I stayed around people I didn’t like, because I felt like it made me fit in better. I watched how much I voiced my opinions, because not everyone agreed with me and I am not always up for what feels like a violent debate on my opinion. People are asshole and they don’t like you to feel different then you, so they ram their opinions down your throat instead. 

For too long I worried about people’s feelings, when they blatantly did not care about mine. I stepped up to bat for them over and over again just to have them tear me to shreds when talking about me to others. I would even have the audacity to be HURT when words they said got back to me. 

For too many years I spoke negatively. I used my words to explain the wrongs around me, and not as much about the good things that were surrounding me. I can say that I did this because that’s seems to be the society norm (which it is) but that would be lying. I made a choice. 

It’s time for this all to change. You don’t get to have power over me society. I do. 

It’s time to make the choices that benefit my family and myself. I have neglected myself for far too long to be caught up in societies bullshit anymore.