Compromise

That has to be the hardest word in a relationship.

It isn’t even just found in romantic relationships, it can also be seen in friendships, coworkers, parenting and so on.

Two people will never agree on everything. That’s not how people are made. We were made to be unique, with our own working minds and hearts.

So how do you put two people together in a relationship of any type and expect them to stay together for long periods of time? Compromising is the only real answer. You can come up with a few other answers of course, but this is a huge part as well. I think compromise and respect have to come hand and hand.

If you don’t have the respect for each other to be able to listen, acknowledge and discuss the issue at hand, then the compromise will never happen, and the issue instead will continue.

Yes there are limits. Yes you can compromise too far to one side sometimes. It is a balancing act to find the middle, and make sure that the same person is not always bending too far.

That’s not compromise. That’s manipulation.

It’s easy in your first relationships to have this happen because maybe you just don’t know any better. However, if the other person loves you enough, respects you enough, they should never let it happen in the first place.

Nobody is asking you to give up your opinions, feelings, wants or expectations either. There is no reason for you to ask the other person to do so either.  

Silence will never be the answer either. If you sit and watch your partner or person in question continue to struggle, and choose to say nothing, then you have already let your opinion be known. People recognize that reaction, and react accordingly in response. A surefire way to show your lack of respect is silence. The inability to grant them the ability to say why they feel the way that they feel, or why they act the way they did is demeaning.

If you don’t agree with their opinion, explain that to them.  You cannot expect someone to read your mind, just as they will never be able to read yours. By choosing to yell, or not respond, you are asking for the problem to continue.

I won’t speak for everyone, but I know that in my life when compromise does not happen and someone continues to feel slighted or ignored, it brings resentment.

It’s harder to work back from resentment then it would have been to have had the conversation instead.

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